I’m sure this is an experience many of us can relate no matter what our jobs are, but every time I wake up there’s always this thought in the back of my head just groaning and dreading the simple action of sitting up from my bed. I’ve never been much of a day person as I usually find myself staying up until late at night and sleeping in until one or two in the afternoon the next day (during the summer of course). Lately, my sleeping schedule has changed so drastically that my bedtime is at 2:30 in the afternoon, right when I get home from school. Then, I would usually wake up at around 11 at night, have about an hour or so to eat and shower, and then start my homework at around one or two in the morning, often finishing them right before I get ready for school at around 7 in the morning. My parents have tried so much to change my sleeping habits, and I have, too, but it would work for about a week and then I would go back to this horrendous sleeping schedule again. I guess lately I’ve just been too busy or lazy to try to change my sleeping schedule…
Despite waking up at ungodly hours and still getting about eight hours of sleep (sometimes way more), I still wake up groggy and confused (one time, I thought it was 7 AM and I still didn’t do my homework so I was freaked out, but it was only 7 PM). I don’t know what is it about waking up that makes it so hard for me to do. I would find myself thinking when I wake up (before I get up from bed) about how easy it would be to just sit up and start my “day”. I would comfort myself, reassuring myself that it would only take a single action to be the productive person I wanted to be. This process would go on for the next twenty-or-so minutes, and when I did get up, I would curse myself for missing the perfect opportunity to improve myself, to have a chance to finish my homework get started on the project due next week. The cycle repeats on and on.
My horrible, horrible unwillingness to wake up leads to me having to set multiple alarms, each spaced evenly at three-minute intervals just in case I “missed” the previous ones. The same unwillingness to wake up manifested itself within me this time as well. Before I go to sleep, I would always tell myself that even though I’m setting five alarms, it’s just a backup plan and that I know the productive me would turn that alarm off right away and get up. Of course I would only do half of those things, which was to turn off the alarm… and fall back asleep. Then after I wake up, I would chide myself for the lack of self control and go on with my day.
I wish I could say that having lived most of my life waking up early that I’ve figured out a way to conquer this “Wake Monster” but I haven’t. Needless to say, the monster follows me no matter what my sleeping schedule is.